Outlawing Options

Outlawing Options

On March 4, I flew to Boston to testify at the Massachusetts’ capital hearing regarding the proposed bills H.140/S.70, which if passed, would ban conversion therapy.   My reasons for going were very personal and close to my heart. I feel strongly that the ban on conversion therapy for minors would greatly hinder much needed holistic care that health-care professionals can offer to children who question their sexual identity and orientation.   Many states desire to ban conversion therapy because it has been labeled harmful.And in fact, some of the examples of “conversion therapy” described in the hearings included such harmful practices as electric shock therapy, exposure to pornography, forced separation from loved ones, and extreme public shaming. However, the greater health-care community, including those with faith-based practices, already considers these methods barbaric and unethical. Blasted by the media, this kind of “conversion therapy” has become a straw man, erected with the intent of advocating one sided and biased counseling methods that support an ideology that sexuality is completely fixed.   But do not be misinformed. The proposed legislation in Massachusetts (and similar bills being proposed elsewhere) is about much, much more than protecting children from shock therapy and other ill-favored practices. These bills define “conversion therapy” in such a way as to prohibit any health-care professional from therapeutically questioning a minor’s sexual orientation or desire to transition gender.  Under this law, a health-care professional could have their license suspended for doing anything other than affirming a minor’s feelings of same-sex attraction or perceived gender identity. Furthermore, if passed, these laws would threaten parental rights. If a child’s physician prescribes medications, such as...
Launching Discover Eden

Launching Discover Eden

I’m sitting at a lovely dining room table in a vacation rental in Orlando, Florida. There’s a bowl of fake fruit sitting in front of me as I write, reminding me that upon first arrival, I was fooled once again by realistic apple art. Fake flowers I get, but fake fruit…that’s just cruel. Since we moved, two big life, hey-did-that-just-happen, thingamajiggers have taken place. I turned forty on November second and I launched my second book. Nevertheless, life doesn’t stop for second books or fortieth birthdays. It doesn’t stop and ask you if you’d like to pause to celebrate goals accomplished, or to pause to celebrate anything for that matter. Life is rolling by like big waves in the sea and doesn’t ask for directions. You have to pick up your boogie board and ride those big, sloppy, wonderful waves. With that being said, I’m so excited to pause to take note that my second book—Discover Eden: Empowering Christian Women to Walk in Sexual Liberty—is now available! So, what’s this all about? Well, I’m so glad you asked. You’re so inquisitive. Here’s a piece of fruit as a reward. I offer information in a way that I wish someone had given it to me—direct, practical, non-sugar-coated, yet a little humorous to make it feel more relatable. I prayerfully speak into the areas in which I was misinformed, delusional, and extremely bound, and I discuss areas where I’ve awakened to a great adventure of life beyond sexual brokenness. My heart is to give glory to the Lord for the liberty I found in my restored sexuality. More specifically, my primary...
Why I Chose to Stand with Others

Why I Chose to Stand with Others

As soon as we walked out of the hotel’s conference room that was adjacent to the California State Capital, I was immediately intimidated. As someone who prides herself on not cowering to the opinions of others, this surprisingly stretched me. When we walked into the Capitol with black t-shirts on that said in white text “changed” on the front and “oncegay.com” on the back, there was no turning back. We stepped out as a unified team to voice our concerns. Thirty something people, many from California, but also from other states. All different stories and stages of life. All there to say our lives are not fraudulant. The Capitol was packed with protestors for various bills that would be voted on the following day. It was surreal walking into a government building and being met by many other groups, in their own custom t-shirts and signs, protesting all sorts of things. It was particularly intimidating when those in various groups turned their attentions off of gathering for their cause, and began to jeer at our group that was quietly walking up to the Senator’s offices. I can only liken what I experienced at that moment to the bullying I often endured as a kid. Like when I would be bullied as I played sports. When I would walk into the school gym only to be met by guys hurling insults at me about my weight as I walked by in my snug uniform. When I was there to be a part of a team but was assaulted by comments about my appearance. Childish ignorant hateful banter. That’s the best...
Love Yo Self

Love Yo Self

There is an innate desire in everyone to prioritize his or her values. The things in which we attach most emotional worth to, it is in fact, what drives us. What we value is what our heart longs for in life. The flux of happiness is closely related to our values. People seem to be love’n life or hate’n life based on what they can achieve or experience. For example, if someone values the ability to clean their house in under six minutes before their friends arrive (on short notice) and as they answer the door are able to shove the last of the living room junk into the closet, that person probably is happy. Self-image is preserved and values are achieved. So I’ve heard. My house is immaculate all the time (said no one ever). Furthermore, if someone values winning a pizza eating contest in which they and two other friends set out on a quest to consume a ginormous pizza in under an hour, only then to fall short in doing so, (as a result of cramming so much into their intestines they end up throwing up pepperoni all over the restaurant bathroom) the opposite of happiness was experienced. The goal was not achieved. True story. My husband. Do what makes you happy. Right? The overall message of our culture is that there is a direct correlation between moving towards your values and the state of your happiness. In other words, many would define self-love or “loving yourself” as following their truest values. In our culture people are continually asking themselves, am I experiencing all my values have to...
Sex & Marriage

Sex & Marriage

“Write what you know.” ― Mark Twain Most of our friends know that my husband and I didn’t start our marriage off in a blissful state of romance. We most definitely weren’t “that couple” who spent their first years of marriage gazing into each other’s eyes while gushing over love notes and feeding each other chocolate on special love getaways. Well, maybe we ate a lot of chocolate back then, but it was more of a coping mechanism than a sign of affection. So we get it. We get what it’s like to start off and continue in a very difficult marriage. We understand what it is like to strive to stay committed in a relationship that, at times, was not only disconnected but very toxic. Andy and I brought our own damaged viewpoints and perceptions of what marriage should be when we were married eleven years ago. The process in which God brought radical healing to our marriage is too lengthy to go into here, but I can say that we have complete faith for any marriage to experience restoration producing close connection. The purpose of our lives is to experience a beautifully meshed communion with Jesus. This relationship is at the core of who we are and why we were created by Him. The lie that comes against this purpose is that we are obedient slaves living under the law and not sons and daughters of God. Furthermore, this lie states that, our actions dictate our right standing with God. That we can approach God because we behaviored our way into relationship with Him. Well, that’s religion....