by Liz Flaherty | Jul 3, 2017 | Reflections
As the plane took off I was comforted by the fact that I had plenty of music, things to read, and a few movies on my iPad to keep myself occupied for the long flight. After about an hour of staring at the back of the seat in front of me I settled in to watch a documentary called Embrace, all about women and body image. This documentary appealed to me since it wasn’t the average “healthy eating” documentary I’d been watching lately. Embrace is a film created by Taryn Brumfitt who posted a before and after photo online which went viral and created a huge stir. Her before photo was taken after a bodybuilding competition in “ideal shape” and her after photo was taken several months later when she decided to ditch the intensive workouts. The muscular photo was the “before” and the fuller mom body was the “after” which isn’t the norm in our society. I was moved as she explained that after working so hard (hours a day to achieve the perfect body) to be in the body building competition she had a revelation that this was not leading to a fulfilled life. She found herself unhappy along with all the women backstage who were horribly critical of what they wished they could change about their bodies. These women who were supposed to be the “ideal” but were miserable. It was then that she decided it was too costly to her family to continue. Her goals then shifted to being active and eating well. With that mindset, if her kids wanted to make cookies, they would...
by Liz Flaherty | May 9, 2017 | Reflections
The planets aligned this year for 2017, Mother’s Day falls on our twelfth wedding anniversary (insert slow golf clap). I’ve not taken a poll, but I can imagine that what Valentine’s Day is to singles, Mother’s Day is to those struggling with infertility (or those without the presence of a biological mother). I currently have a punch card for both. Twelve years of marriage Sunday, and with that, twelve years of infertility for my husband and myself. This won’t be one of the those blogs that’s titled “Things Not to Say to People with Infertility” or “10 Things I Wish My Friends Knew About My Infertility”. As great as those articles are, I’m a firm believer that if I have information that I wish my friends knew…drum roll please…I tell them. Also, if you’re curious about the infertility journey ask a friend who faces it. It’s uncomfortable, but your friend will value the attempt to build empathy. Facts don’t build connection, hard conversations do. No, this won’t be a passive aggressive attempt to right my friends thinking either. I have amazing friends who bring strength and much prayer to this area in my life. My purpose of this blog is to open up about some mindsets that I believe hinders believers from entering into a deeper sense of community in regards to infertility, but could also be applied to many other situations. So let’s start by talking about children and the Old Testament! Whoohoo! In the Law of the Old Testament, we see that God gives clear direction to a nation who follows or disobeys His commandments. If you...
by Liz Flaherty | Apr 12, 2017 | Reflections
My husband and I settled in on the couch and began to search for something interesting to watch together as we ate dinner (on TV trays). Yes, we are those people. Andy’s notorious for picking obscure historic films about sports or even conspiracy theory documentaries about Big Foot, all the while acting shocked when I’m not interested. Side note: we had to put the kibosh on watching conspiracy theory documentaries because I began to tell people that the moon landing was staged, but I digress. Nowadays we usually park the remote around outdoor survival or clean comedy. Landing on one of the four thousand programs about surviving in the Alaskan wilderness, I took a bite of my grocery store bought chicken leg, and gave the new program a go. The camera followed a few individuals as they hunted, gathered, and conquered the untamed land. We debated if it was “dinner worthy” entertainment, when a woman began to describe her life in the bush. She was recovering from surgery in a local hotel before heading back onto her remote property. My stomach began to turn and then my heart grew heavy as she described surviving bear attacks and falls on her property, only to lay there hoping she would live. She fought back tears as she explained what it was like to wonder if she was going to die alone before anyone could find you. This woman lives on her own in the Alaskan wilderness. Her closest neighbors are 300 miles away. A mix of emotions washed over her as she told her story of independence and fear of death....
by Liz Flaherty | Mar 8, 2017 | Reflections
Six months. Oy vey. It’s been six months since I’ve written a blog. Many excuses come to mind for my not taking the time to post, however I won’t bore you with those. My commitment to post is back in full force. Here we go. Are you ready? Let’s talk about Beauty and the Beast (Insert awkward clapping)! Fuzzy wuzzy, popcorn, candy coma induced thoughts come to mind when I go way back to 1991. This was my first introduction to Beauty and the Beast. I was thirteen and my brother was five. Many lazy days with this VHS on loop as background noise in our home. A staple, if you will, in the Disney library that remains embedded in my childhood memories. When I heard of a remake involving a live production musical it was everything in me too…well…I actually have no desire to see it. Where’s your inner princess Liz? Where has she gone? This princess doesn’t like live musicals and actually get’s very oddly embarrassed when (in a small setting especially) people start singing. For example, a coffee shop or hotel lobby. Or that friend who wants you to know they can sing. For some reason, “I’d rather not thank you.” In larger settings I’m fine. I’m odd, yes we all know this. Nevertheless, this has nothing to do with my blog today, just a few random Liz factoids. Back to hoopla over this movie. Just some thoughts for my Christian friends to consider. If you aren’t familiar with the controversy swirling around this movie, in a nutshell, the 2017’s Disney live action musical will feature...
by Liz Flaherty | Aug 25, 2016 | Reflections
There is an innate desire in everyone to prioritize his or her values. The things in which we attach most emotional worth to, it is in fact, what drives us. What we value is what our heart longs for in life. The flux of happiness is closely related to our values. People seem to be love’n life or hate’n life based on what they can achieve or experience. For example, if someone values the ability to clean their house in under six minutes before their friends arrive (on short notice) and as they answer the door are able to shove the last of the living room junk into the closet, that person probably is happy. Self-image is preserved and values are achieved. So I’ve heard. My house is immaculate all the time (said no one ever). Furthermore, if someone values winning a pizza eating contest in which they and two other friends set out on a quest to consume a ginormous pizza in under an hour, only then to fall short in doing so, (as a result of cramming so much into their intestines they end up throwing up pepperoni all over the restaurant bathroom) the opposite of happiness was experienced. The goal was not achieved. True story. My husband. Do what makes you happy. Right? The overall message of our culture is that there is a direct correlation between moving towards your values and the state of your happiness. In other words, many would define self-love or “loving yourself” as following their truest values. In our culture people are continually asking themselves, am I experiencing all my values have to...
by Liz Flaherty | Jul 21, 2016 | Reflections
“Write what you know.” ― Mark Twain Most of our friends know that my husband and I didn’t start our marriage off in a blissful state of romance. We most definitely weren’t “that couple” who spent their first years of marriage gazing into each other’s eyes while gushing over love notes and feeding each other chocolate on special love getaways. Well, maybe we ate a lot of chocolate back then, but it was more of a coping mechanism than a sign of affection. So we get it. We get what it’s like to start off and continue in a very difficult marriage. We understand what it is like to strive to stay committed in a relationship that, at times, was not only disconnected but very toxic. Andy and I brought our own damaged viewpoints and perceptions of what marriage should be when we were married eleven years ago. The process in which God brought radical healing to our marriage is too lengthy to go into here, but I can say that we have complete faith for any marriage to experience restoration producing close connection. The purpose of our lives is to experience a beautifully meshed communion with Jesus. This relationship is at the core of who we are and why we were created by Him. The lie that comes against this purpose is that we are obedient slaves living under the law and not sons and daughters of God. Furthermore, this lie states that, our actions dictate our right standing with God. That we can approach God because we behaviored our way into relationship with Him. Well, that’s religion....
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